How is it that some people never seem to have relationship drama? Every time you see them, they’re happy, looking forward to something while you’re having yet one more issue in your own relationship. Here are seven qualities that people in good relationships have in common.
1. Accept your partner. You don’t get into a relationship to change people. You either love and accept them the way they are or you don’t get into the relationship. You can certainly inspire people to want to change, but the difference is that the person doing the changing wants to change.
2. Be vulnerable. Despite any past hurts, the person you’re now in a relationship is not likely the one responsible for it. Give them the benefit of the doubt and be as open and authentic as possible. Let your partner see into your soul. This establishes trust in a way nothing else can.
3. Be your own person. Don’t let your past or the experiences of others define the way you approach relationships. Your parents or grandparents being divorced doesn’t mean you are automatically headed to divorce court. Every person is an individual and all relationships are similarly unique. Someone else’s past does not define your own. Choices other people make determine their reality. Your choices determine your reality.
4. One is not a lonely number. In order to be comfortable and relaxed in a relationship, we have to be comfortable being alone. Only when we can be at peace without constant stimuli will we really be able to relax into a relationship with someone else. When your partner needs some quiet time, some alone time, you will recognize the request as a reasonable one and does not reflect poorly on you. Partners are happiest when they can choose to be together, or choose to be alone as they need.
5. Forgive and forget. It’s to easy to hold onto anger at an unjust remark or situation. But the negative emotions that continue to reside inside your body as you fight to hold onto the grudge do you no good at all. Your desire for retribution or satisfaction means you want to hurt or shame the person who hurt you. That’s some destructive mojo. Learn to let go and forget.
6. Give from the heart. But don’t give your heart. There is a fine line between sacrificing and giving of yourself willingly. Making sacrifices means you’re giving something up for someone else. When you give generously and willingly, you’re doing it out of love. Partners who feel as though they always sacrifice for the other, find it difficult to be satisfied.
7. The power of laughter. Telling a humorous story before giving a talk helps the speaker bond to the audience. So, too, is it with couples who share humorous situations. Laughter promotes a relaxed relationship, even leading to playfulness. A little well-placed humor can defuse a potentially damaging argument. It’s always good when partners can share a sense of humor.